Stupor-Stitions: A Columbus DUI lawyer’s take on Drinking and Driving Myths
Yavitch & Palmer can help you separate fact from fiction
Imagine you’re at a friend’s house, hanging out late and having a few drinks. As the night winds down, you prepare to finish your beer and make your exit. However, when you stand up, you feel a bit tipsy, and wonder whether or not you’ll blow above the legal limit should you get pulled over.
“Don’t worry,” your friend says with a boozy smile. “I’ll make a pot of coffee, give you some breath mints and you’ll be fine.”
At this point you’d be well within your right to raise an eyebrow and call out your friend for poor judgement by deconstructing their drunken logic. Unfortunately, many people instead buy into the home remedy pitch for curing intoxication, grab their keys and end up with a DUI on their record.
There are a many mythical theories on how to quickly disperse the alcoholic toxins in your blood which will allow you to drive safely, but all of them are exactly that: myths.
Here are some of the most common techniques people use to “cure” their intoxication:
Drinking coffee will sober you up – MYTH
This is the most common home remedy for drunkenness, and it’s complete fiction. Sure, coffee may help you feel more alert, but it has absolutely no bearing on your BAC. So, while you might feel more sober, in the eyes of science (and the law) you’ll still be intoxicated.
Drinking water will sober you up – MYTH
Water is good for countering dehydration during hangovers, but does not prevent your liver from processing any alcohol you’ve drank during the night. Regardless of how much water you drink, if you’re drunk, a breathalyzer will call your bluff.
Breath mints can trick a breathalyzer – MYTH
No breath mint is powerful enough to stop you from slurring your words or weaving between lanes if you’re driving under the influence of alcohol. A handful of Tic-tacs might cover up the smell of tequila on your breath, but won’t stop the breathalyzer from accurately reading your blood alcohol level. Additionally, from an officer’s point of view, a driver that smells like a box of Altoids may raise a few suspicions.
Eating bread will soak up the alcohol – MYTH
People aren’t plastic containers filled with liquid, so the idea that a stomach full of bread will draw all of the alcohol out of your bloodstream like a sponge is illogical. While bread may slow your body’s rate of alcohol absorption, it won’t prevent you from getting drunk, and it won’t sober you up when you’re already over the legal limit.
Sucking on pennies will fool the breathalyzer – MYTH
In addition to being false, this is also highly unsanitary. First off, breathalyzers only detect alcohol and won’t be thrown off by trace amounts of copper in your mouth. Secondly, money is incredibly filthy, and will only add a healthy dose of bacteria into your system before you’re inevitably pulled over.
If you get pulled over, you should contact a Columbus DUI lawyer – FACT
The only true cure for being intoxicated is time. If you’re drunk, don’t drive. Call a cab, take the bus, or sleep it off. Remember, during the holidays, police will increase DUI checkpoints and patrol officers in an attempt to keep the roads safer, so don’t take any chances.
However, if you get stopped and arrested for a DUI, call the professional, experienced Columbus drunk driving attorneys at Yavitch & Palmer. They’ll listen to every detail of your case and work to ensure you get the best possible results.
Call us at 614-224-6142 or use our contact form to schedule an appointment at our downtown Columbus office.